Reframing to Escape Thinking Traps
It’s hard to escape patterns of negative thinking. There’s a reason why psychologists call them thinking traps. Reframing is 1 tool you can use to help train your thinking to avoid thinking traps.
How to do it
Observe your thinking. When you are feeling stressed, take a moment to notice your thinking. Don’t judge it, just notice. Ask yourself how your thought is making you feel. If your annual review at work is a source of stress, you might notice your feelings about being evaluated. “I’m noticing my breathing is fast and I’m having the thought, ‘My review is going to be awful.’”
Assess your thinking. Pretend you are an attorney and put your thinking on trial. What are the facts? What is the evidence that what you're telling yourself is true? Would your friend look at you in this situation and tell the same story? Are there other ways to view what’s going on? In some stressful situations, we get trapped in negative thinking and tell ourselves a story that isn’t true or is very one-sided. For example, if your boss gives you feedback about how to improve one thing, you might tell yourself an untrue story where your boss hates everything you do and doesn’t like you. That’s a thinking trap.
Swap your thinking. Replace your negative thoughts with more helpful ones. Rather than thinking your boss hates you, reframe your story to “I’m glad my boss trusts me enough to give me honest feedback. She must see my potential and wants to help me grow.” Or try the “yes, and” technique if you want to balance your thinking. “Yes, my boss noticed I did something wrong, and she also noticed 5 other things I did right.”
While this 3-step process looks simple enough, it requires practice.
Why it works
The stories we tell ourselves become our truths, and we get trapped in negative thinking patterns. Many people feel chronically stressed due to expectations at work, social obligations, parenting, or watching the news. If that sounds like you, you may find negative thinking traps are part of the problem. Thinking traps can lead us to feel more stressed, anxious, sad, and even irritable or angry. This can lead to behavior that makes the situation worse. This can include avoidance, withdrawal, and conflict.
When we can notice ourselves getting trapped by negative thinking and then change that thinking to something more realistic and more helpful, we can see our situation more clearly. We can decrease our stress and improve our mood. We may even find it easier to find a solution to a stressful situation or at least be better able to manage it better when we can avoid those negative thinking traps.
Getting help
Reframing can be more difficult than it sounds. It can be hard to change how you think. It takes time and practice. If you feel like you need help, consider talking to a therapist that uses cognitive behavioral therapies. They can help you see your thought patterns. They can help you practice how to reframe your thinking and give you additional support in managing your stress. For a list of therapists that use this strategy, see the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. Reach out to your provider or send your care manager a message if you need help finding a therapist.